Standards

I grow weary of eating the same meal for lunch rather quickly, and so lately I've been widening my search radius. The other day, I tried an Indian buffet on Shattuck, Viceroy. I'd passed it many times and for some reason never considered it a viable option.

What caught my eye was the sign on the window:
WELCOME TO THE NEW VICEROY!
NEW MANAGEMENT!
NEW MENU!
NEW STANDARDS!

It was this final pronouncement that I found startling. What were the old standards? Had that line not been included, I wouldn't have given it a second thought. New managment? Great. New menu? Lay it on me. New standards? Good lord! What grim, godless acts took place in the old Viceroy? While seating myself near the buffet, I imagined the following sign:

WELCOME TO THE NEW VICEROY!
NOW IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE GENEVA CONVENTIONS!

Or how about:

WELCOME TO THE NEW VICEROY!
NEW MANAGEMENT!
NEW MENU!
NEW SLOP BUCKET!
NEW DEFINITION OF "CLEAN"!
NEW POSITIVE OUTLOOK + RELIGIOUS AFFILIATION!
NEW UNDERSTANDING OF CHILD LABOR LAWS!!!